unlike any other

I supposed them magical because

you didn’t realize it

your hands always took their time

even as the world around us

spun itself into ever increasing chaos

a single touch from your hands between the blades of my back

caused shudders of pleasure

they always took their time

moved like honey

pouring sweetly down a wooden spoon

heated by the Sun

in the middle of the coldest winter

your hands were Springtime

sending the chilling frost back

to its ice caverns in  the North

I always feared breaking

the magical spell

the telling, the naming

might reduce or eradicate

therefore I never did

until that last day we had together

frigid February in Berlin

that touch like warm golden honey

undulating from neck to

base of spine

my confession made you laugh

which made me cry

for their impending loss.

dthanja

than you were willing to give

I never sought to give you

more than my heart could handle

giving

I never thought I’d find myself

writing about you

years later

the wounds to my psyche

not permanent

yet not fully recovered either

I never wanted more that I believed

I could possibly receive

I never keep more than I can digest anyway

I never sleep well when I’ve attempted it in the past

I never will forget what we

once had

but never is a word

I never want to use again

She can drive you mad

just like that,

long before you realize

that you have been so driven.

she can place a longing in your heart,

that surpasses all reasonability,

climbing in intensity,

the fevered pitch

you cannot quite throw away.

she is not safe nor sound,

doesn’t do neat and tidy,

Love operates on her own time,

strikes when her iron is hot

and if you happen to be in her line of fire,

Heaven help you.

you kiss me,

you study my lips,

before, during, and afterglow

i love the way you listen

to my heart afterward

seeing, i suppose whether

it beats for your nearness

or not

i love the way you always smile

the same smile,

the knowing one

when the question placed before my heart

is resoundingly answered

the way you love it to be

to leave you cold and crying,

board a plane for the other

side of the world without

taking my Heart.

it was never my intention

to have so few words

left in my mouth

when you needed me to pledge

my undying Love.

it was never my intention

to give my heart to another…

and I still have not,

my intention is to

reclaim yours.

just look at the hells we have passed through

to get to this place we now call home

how we’ve fought when the only thing we carried

on our backs was our virtue and dignity

you cannot pretend you haven’t the heart,

to feel another reach out to you,

from beyond your pain?

beyond your loneliness?

the salt of my tears sting

just as yours do you.

you cannot say you don’t

live in hope of Love,

the real thing,

not the poor facsimile

most are willing to swallow,

just to say they have something.

you cannot say Love has not come to call,

She does, but will not open your heart

for you,

Love enters by invite only,

and by the sound of your voice

calling her name.

reclined from sun up

to sun down across myriad miles

of golden, shifting sand blowing across the face of time.

From somewhere within the valley of my shoulder blades,

a cobalt blu race car

began its journey down the treacherous  track of my spine

As I lay, head turned,

listening  intently to its

engine purr

deeply,

softly, beyond my left ear,

I pictured you at the wheel,

silver stripped gloves,

gripping, turning, holding steady

the bumpy, boned course.

I dreamed of a race car

which, as I woke,

turned out to be

the delicate, insistent traceries

of your remarkable finger,

intent in its mission not to wake me,

as it made its way ’round the track

one more time.

dances behind the moonlight

slowly, sensuously, seriously

for her dance informs us all

of what is behind our own

Soul

if only we’d dance it into

existence.